InnerBliss: Kicking Ass as an Artist-Warrior

A Spiritual Warrior by Marcy Hall.

Listening to: Something to rev you up.

Today's Bliss Formula: A poor sleep night, so I am glad for the blue sky and the sun and the espresso. And the next espresso...

I love ass-kicking movies and television.

I'm not a violent person; I've never hit another human -- unless you count that time that I slapped another little girl in my kindergarten class because she wouldn't share her toy with another little boy. That was all about justice, you know?

But I love ass-kicking. I dream of taking martial arts classes (and yes, I love the outfits) -- but I can't get myself to do all that grunting and sweating in a room filled with 8 year old boys and that seems to be the only option where I live.

So I watch other people doing the ass-kicking. I must clarify that my tastes include the types of characters who are doing said ass-kicking for reasons of justice or perhaps they are on some sort of spiritual quest and people just won't leave them alone and when you're grouchy and you have their skills, well, you use them.

Like Xena. I am a huge Xena geek. I have never dressed up like Xena; I fear I am a bit too stubby to carry off those bitch-boots she wears. I have never gone to a Xena fan-a-thon; I do not own any Xena inspired art; the you-tube Xena videos make me wonder at the time people have on their hands.

But I have watched every single Xena more times than I care to calculate. And Frog and I have long, intensely serious conversations about the philosophy and mythology of Xena. Yes, I qualify for "Xena Geek-extraordinaire."

The same goes for Buffy -- a show I resisted because, being a Xena Geek Snob, I assumed Buffy was just a derivative. Was I ever wrong, and besides, she's a bit more my style -- a little glitter with the grunts. She wouldn't be caught dead without an appropriate bag.

The point is that I have this warrior side to my personality. But what is a girl to do?

I have realized recently that it has more to do with facing fears and living the life I want than with weaponry and hand-to-hand combat.

Acknowledging fear is not a cause for depression
or discouragement. Because we possess such fear,
we also are potentially entitled to experience fearlessness.
True fearlessness is not the reduction of fear
but going beyond fear.

--Chogyam Trungpa

That quote is from Shambhala: The Sacred Path of the Warrior. In the Shambhala Buddhism tradition, they use this metaphor of Warrior for the seeker's spiritual path. I like this very much. (For a more recent take, read his son's book.)

Specifically, I try to maintain this mindset of Warrior when it comes to my creative life. In a world such as ours, that is focused on materialism for materialism's sake, it can be difficult to walk the path of artist.

Seeing yourself as a Warrior can give you focus and a sense of power.

Note: "Artist" can mean so many things and is not limited to writer or painter but really refers to a person who is living a life of purpose with mindfulness; someone who sees themselves as a Co-Creator of their own life; anyone following their bliss, of course.

Focus and a sense of power. This assumes, of course, that you have some inkling of your path. That you are aware of where your fears reside and are willing to approach them.

For an exercise about fear, go here.

After you have a clue about your path, spend some time trying to visualize your inner warrior. This can be fun. Perhaps you could even draw or construct her -- using bits and pieces from magazines. Hang her up where you see her everyday. Create an altar around her, placing things around her that represent your path. (For altar advice, go here.)

Some basic rules for an Artist-Warrior, include:

1. Knowing how to protect your boundaries. If you have to, do this literally. For example, if you have a small space in which you are going to meditate on your path or you have a small space in which you paint or write or dream, hang little pieces of fabric around it to protect it from malicious spirits. Or write inspiring quotes on the walls. Or create tiny mandalas to place around you. Whatever you need to remind yourself that when you enter that space, you are there to do your thing and no one is allowed to interfere -- physically or mentally.

Knowing how to protect your boundaries also includes saying no.

2. Making choices regarding how you use your time and your energy. This one radiates out to every little thing in your life. Are you filling a hole in yourself with some sort of addiction? It could be as "simple" as too much time spent on your wardrobe, too much shopping, too much ice cream. Whatever is holding you down, keeping you tied to a job you hate, creating anxiety over money. Get rid of it. Make a plan and a schedule to untie yourself from negative obligations. Simplify. Remember, to be a grown up means to make choices. You don't get to have everything you want but you can have everything you need. (Excuse the Rolling Stones reference.)

In large measure, becoming an artist (warrior) consists
of learning to accept yourself, which makes your work
personal, and in following your own voice, which
makes your work distinctive.

--from Art & Fear

3. Accept yourself. Yes, you! Have you accepted that you are a creative being meant to live a creative existence? Have you accepted responsibility for your sadness and your gladness or do you still hold other people and circumstances accountable? This sounds so silly to bring up, but it's so essential. Even people already living through their art have often skipped this step and are just getting by, not pushing their own edges, not creating the work they are capable of -- and why? Because it's scary to accept yourself. It leads to all sorts of realizations about your humanity and your connection to the whole. It leads to a sense of responsibility not just for yourself but for everyone else. Knowing your true power is a frightening thing.

4. Just as following your own voice is. It's much more comfortable to live how other people expect you to. It's so easy to just fall in line. But in the end it's not easy at all. It makes us angry and sad and ill and we die with regrets. That sucks.

5. Kill the voices that tell you to do anything else other than what you know you have to. I've written about the evil opera before.

This is the hardest work you will ever do and thus the most important and fulfilling. Until you find this Warrior within you, you will be filled with trepidation and angst and a sense of lack; you will walk carefully, talk carefully, act carefully.

You won't be kicking any ass but your own -- and what is the point of that?