OuterBliss: Getting the Computer Monkey Off Your Back

The first big snow: a night thunder snow storm.

Listening to: One of my favorite songs of all time from a favorite holiday movie.

Bliss: Tonight my creative writing group will gather again for the first time in ... too long. We are starting over. We are all hopeful that this will help us each finish projects that are well on their way.

Connie over at DirtyFootprints joined Facebook recently and lamented that it would only add to her computer addiction. She asked that I write something about this to help others like herself, but you see, I'd have to help myself first!

My partner sometimes (and rightfully...I guess) declares herself a computer widow.

And I admit, I am online a lot, but I'm working, I whine.

And that's true. I do quite a bit of work when I am on the computer. This blog and the writing of it take a considerable amount of my time and effort. Besides, I enjoy it immensely.

But it does take away from other creative endeavors that become more and more pressing. There are books and poems to write, my heart cries out as I head toward the computer one more time.

For me, you see, poetry comes from a place of stillness and silence, and really, the computer is neither of those things. The computer is all about movement and speed and sound -- whether it be music playing in the background or just all the chatter out there.

Novel writing is also of a different flow than the computer allows for. My entire first draft was written on a red, 1969 manual Olivetti typewriter. The clickety clack creates a rhythm that matches my imaginative mind, and there is nothing like physically pulling paper from the typewriter as you finish a page and creating a stack to the right. Nothing like it on this planet!

I am, also, beginning to work on a nonfiction book, and the computer works perfectly for that. If I can manage to stay offline, that is.

So, though I don't like to admit it, the unfinished projects that are right now standing behind me, tapping me on the shoulder, dancing, crying, screaming, pacing -- all of them are evidence that I do have a bit of a problem.

What to do? Let's try an altered version of the 12 steps, shall we?

1. We admit we are powerless over our (pretty, smart, awesome, helpful) computers — that our lives have become over-managed.

Over-managed -- do you count on your computer for every little thing? Are you decreasing your own capacity for memory every time you add to your computer's? Are you able to stay curious about something or do you have to "google" every little thing that comes to mind?

2. We believe that a Power great and within ourselves can restore us to sanity.

I'm not talking Steve Jobs here. We are in control of ourselves; the computer is not at fault. (Poor, computer!)

3. We decide to turn our will and our lives over to the care of our internal (and/or external) divinity.

We've admitted we have a problem and now know that we also contain the solution.

4. We make a searching and fearless inventory of our healthy creative impulses.

This is important. Look deep within at your computer dependency and see what it is holding you back from. As I've already said, I know that I am killing poems with too much time on the computer.

5. We admit to others that we may have (sorta) a problem.

Has someone like my partner been telling you you have a problem? Let them know that they are right.

6. We are ready to make change.

Time for some lists, and I don't want you to make these on the computer! Get out that dusty paper journal that you've neglected and get out your favorite pen and start listing what changes you want to make in your day and your week. Perhaps start coming up with some Computer Rules & Regulations.

7. Humbly, we ask others for help.

Share your Rules & Regulations with someone who will hold you accountable.

8. We make a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.

I know that the computer can actually bite into my time with my sweet partner, so I owe her lots of dates!

9. We make direct amends to such people wherever possible.

Not only dates but I owe my partner more uninterrupted attention. When I say I am turning the computer off for the weekend, I need to mean it.

10. We continue to take personal inventory and when we are wrong promptly admitted it.

This is important. I wrote about a life log not too long ago and now it's time to keep a computer log. The amount of time you are on and what you are doing.

11. We daily meditate our relationship to the computer and that relationship to our own creativity.

At the beginning of the day, think about what you really want to accomplish. Do you really need to look up all the movies that actress was in? Stick to your goals. Read your blogs (of course!) but don't go on some twisty path through blog roll land.

At the end of the day, look back and see if you were true to your deepest desires or did you cave to easy, momentary addictive behavior?

12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we try to help others get the computer monkey off their backs and realize their full creative potential.

This is really what it's all about: that we are robbing ourselves (and thus the world) of our fullest potential. We are losing sight of our life purpose when we give into anything that is repetitive and mind-numbing, whether it be too much TV, too much candy type fiction, or too much time throwing snowballs at friends on Facebook.

Each of these behaviors also has its positive side, too, so this is not an "all or nothing" situation. No, this is about balance, the hardest thing of all.

I'd love to hear what other people think about this "computer problem."