Stepping out on the front stooptwo nights ago.
Listening to: Such an amazing voice.
Bliss: Ahhh, a visit to our lovely chiropractor and suddenly my brain cells have oxygen for breakfast!
I think I may have mentioned that I got a Borders gift card for Christmas. Books! Of my own choosing! What better gift, really, is there?
So I chose a day when the weather seemed like it would cooperate and headed for the bus stop. The bus ride was unremarkable. Once you get to the mall area, to get to Borders, you have to walk across a couple of very large parking lots, where there are no sidewalks and where there are no trees to cut the wind.
Marcy and I refer to it as the Tundra.
No matter the time of year, though, what strikes me most are the sounds I hear, sounds that hint at the lingering shadow world of the wet lands that were destroyed to add onto a mall area that was built on top of farm land that was cut out of forest...
You would not notice any of this if you were in a car. Probably very close to 100% of the people who head to the mall go in cars. And they park in one area, only to move their cars to go to another area -- even in the beautiful summer months.
And no matter how often I have walked the Tundra over the seven and a half years of being car free, I cannot get used to the stares from these people, encased and weather proof in their vehicles.
They look at me as if I am a truly alien object. I imagine they look at me with the same bewilderment with which a giraffe eyes a Jeep on the Serengeti.
By the time, I enter Borders, therefore, I am already in a strange state of mind.
This particular day, Borders was not its quiet mid-day, mid-week self, due to the post-Christmas shopping frenzy, of which I was now a part. (We had completely avoided the pre-frenzy.)
I managed to have an okay time and got some books that I had had on a list for a long time.
I headed back across the Tundra to the main mall to catch my bus home, but I got there too early and so had to sit inside the main concourse.
People watching.
Now, I tried very hard to see these people as Thomas Merton would: shining vessels of God's love or some such thing.
But it wasn't working. I was just seeing people doing what they do because that is what other people do. Frenzied people. It was making me very sad.
Luckily, I had a short wait and got back on my bus. Where something very important hit me.
Being car free in this culture is very akin to being a monk. This might sound like an exaggeration but think about it.
It places you outside the norm and allows you to see with new and different eyes. You also, hopefully, can be a beacon of different choices for other people. A living example that there are other options. Slower options. Options that allow you to more fully notice even the mundane moments.
This July we will be car free for eight years, and I had begun to seriously consider that this would be as long as we would go. But now I know that I am committed to this life, as if I have taken the habit. I am devoted to living more slowly and deliberately.
I will not go back to being one of the masses Thoreau speaks of -- those living lives of quiet desperation. Though now, I think he might put that differently -- most people live lives of very loud and destructive desperation.
12 comments:
Occasionally the ordinary becomes extraordinary. Epiphany.
I have been car-free for 4 years (not a free will choice) but just the same something that I have had to acclimate and grow accustomed to. Initially relying on public transportation and other people filled me with anxiety, fear, sadness and anger. Then slowly a shift began to occur. I began noticing things, the stares from people encased in the vehicles, as well as much more beautiful and simple things; creatures, plants, breezes, sounds etc etc etc. I also began living a simpler life, began learning patience and grace as well as an overwhelming appreciation of taking things slower. people still relay some sort of reaction that varies between shock, pity and horror that i do not drive. I am now at a point where the option to drive again is at my doorstep and i do intend to begin driving again and to own a vehicle. i do this however with the knowledge and experience of the "other side" and with the intention to not lose all that i have gained over these 4 years. i don't usually comment and feel silly for leaving such a lengthy comment but it is only to thank you for reinforcing the lessons i have learned, the person i have become.
Yasmine -- Thank you so much for de-lurking! :) And congratulations on making it through a hard four years -- especially with an open heart and a learning mind; even if you did not start out that way, the larger point is that you got there! :)
And hey! I LOVE long comments!
You can no longer pump gas into a car without computer skills. I recall life with no computers.
Soon, Bill Gates failed to graduate from his garage and "computer punch cards" were ubiquitous (THAT may become my word, eh?).
I acquired the "stuff" to communicate with the www and not use a stamp and envelope.
Bill Gates obsoleted me.
I now had to update computer skills, and in a period of "no car"....and no end in sight for getting one. It was a difficult 6 or 7 year slump.
While hitchhiking to classes, a fellow picked me up. We knew each other, but not closely.
"Why are you hitchhiking?"
"Got to take classes to get the job I want."
"Come with me."
He had a car and told me to take it and use it as long as I wanted. I was responsible for gas and oil. He would handle maintenance and insurance.
It was unbelieveable!
With children at home, this was a huge blessing.
I accepted the magnanimous offer.
After 6 months, the car broke down.
"I don't know how to tell you this, but the car broke down....and....
I can't pay to fix this."
"My mechanic will look at it. Don't worry."
The verdict was fast.
"He told me the car was done for good. Repairs would cost too much to fix."
"I'm sorry. I don't know what to do."
"Don't worry about it. I have another car for you."
I was flabbergasted.
"I just used your car at no charge for a half year, busted it, can't pay for repairs, and now, you have ANOTHER car for me???
How can you do that?"
"It's not my car."
WHAAAAAT!!
"Who's car is it?"
"It's God's car. He tells me who to give it to."
The second car was ready for me that day. It would be a full year of using a car to get around, go shopping, take the kids where they needed to go, go to church, and Borders :) , before I returned it one day and said Thank You.
I could make it on my own now.
When I am driving anywhere, I occasionally see "my" car on the road from those days. A prayer ascends on behalf of the driver.
It is a serendipity every time I see that car, for our God --- the Provider ---known as the Great "I AM", drives a Grand Am!
....and I drove God's car for a year.
The blessings of being with a car, and without a car, are unlimited.
Once you drive God's car, you notice all cars and their occupants....and give "Thanks".
"Being car free in this culture is very akin to being a monk."
or a Luddite.
Yep, I'll stick to my monk assertion.
A luddite, in this culture right now with the planet having these problems, might more likely be a person who can't see outside the personal transportation unit model known as the car. A luddite might more likely be the person who, instead of working on personal consumption issues, is just looking for another resource to demand, a new resource to rape the planet for.
The car model, I will gladly assert, is the one that is outdated. People who learn to live without it? -- survival of the fittest, that's what I think.
When I was car-free, I too noticed the stares. It's like people are just beyond belief that anyone could be walking somewhere or waiting for a bus.
BUT now that I am driving again, I see a different angle to that - because I take a second glance myself when I see someone at a bus stop or walking some places. I am looking with admiration and with curiosity and with that twinge of "oh yes, it is doable still, isn't it Lisa, see she/he is doing it right now." I do try not to stare because I remember the feeling of being stared at, but it is so powerful an image and a kick in the ass that I cannot help but look.
And often, the next time I think of driving to the store, I remember that person I saw the day before and get out my bike or start stretching my legs to walk...
So the next time someone stares at you, perhaps you are inspiring them at that very moment!
I gotta say, I love the way you guys use language - the tundra is fantastic.
Danny, I meant to say -- how blessed you have been! :)
Kavindra, Thank you for a second perspective on the stares! I worry, though, that the majority of them are not of the elevated nature of your own. :) Though even the "bad" stares make me think about my own choices even more, so they do not go to waste.
I'm really looking forward to a car-free (personal) future someday. Can't quite do it yet for various reasons. But your posts are good notes of things to look forward to.
The mall can be a really difficult place to be, period, for many people - including me. There is something weird about what happens to people as they enter a mall. I used to work in one and definitely experienced it then, too. But that might be a topic for a whole other discussion.
Hello, I've been reading your blog for awhile, but have never commented, until now!
The thing I miss the most about living in the city is not needing a car. I loved walking everywhere--even in the snow storms or when weighed down with grocery bags. Car free isn't an option anymore, but we drive as little as possible.
So true!
My not driving, even in a city where you really don't have to, freaks people out. They keep telling me that one day I will need to. Nope. I will just arrange my life to suit my pedestrian status.
And malls, don't get me started!
Happy New Year, Christine!
This is fabulous!!
I grew up in suburban Cleveland where everything was within walk or bus distance. My mother did not drive so we did this a LOT! And it was fabulous! The time we spent together, walking everywhere we needed to go, allowed us to be the best of friends as well as mother and daughter.
It also gave me such an appreciation for the millions of tiny details all around me. I knew every house, every sidewalk, every tree on the routes to the mall, to school, the grocery store. Perhaps that is why my old neighborhood has left such a huge psychic imprint on me.
I wish I could do this now, but unfortunately we are blessed with a country home where a car is necessary to get to town/work/etc. I am in deep admiration of you both for commmiting to a car-free lifestyle! :)
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