It's always the same thing with me.
I stop paying attention to my physical body and I end up getting very grouchy. I end up snapping easily. I get angry at silly things, like the internet being a bit sluggish. (Imagine if we still had dial-up!)
I start living from a place of exertion rather than ease. I push through. As if my life is a chore.
And it's not. I stay at home with our loving fur friends and spend my days writing and doing yoga and reading and researching and interacting with thoughtful, inspiring people and taking photographs and having a lot of time to just be.
This week I did not even have one single appointment outside the house. That is heavenly to me. (It's the reason I love that our writing group comes to us rather than meeting them elsewhere.)
Last night, I said to Marcy, "I'm tired of being tired and I'm tired of saying 'I'm tired.' " I am also tired of having so much pain so much of the time.
I am working on this. I am seeing a healer. I am eating better. I am starting to sleep better.
But...I get to this point where I just start to ignore it all. I am checking things off my list -- yoga? check; eating right? check -- but I am not present within those things. I am lost in the pain cloud and I refuse to acknowledge it.
This is my biggest obstacle to my blissful path, and it is a domino effect type thing. If I don't notice -- or have it pointed out quickly enough -- I start letting go of all my boundaries and I stop living from my personal integrity.
I start meeting with too many people during the day for coffee -- completely ignoring my need for solitude. I get involved in other people's troubles and start playing the role of therapist (and sponge). I ignore all but the most basic level of my daily creativity.
This week, though, I am stopping it before it gets this far, because I am really starting to learn. Finally! It has only taken 40 years!
I am choosing to notice my patterns and I am choosing to change them.
So for this week's enCouragingBliss, here's my question (and it's kinda the flip side of last week's):
Looking back over your week (or month!), when and how did you find yourself not respecting your boundaries, not living from your integrity, not following your bliss?
Do you notice any patterns? For example, do you tend to get too involved, like me, with other people's problems in lieu of working on your own?
Do you find yourself "pushing through" some giant list of "shoulds" rather than doing what your heart is aching for you to do? What is your excuse?
How, then, can you eliminate these things, people, events, that are eating away at instead of feeding your bliss?
If this is overwhelming, perhaps you could pick one reoccurring issue and focus on that.
Be honest. Be brave. Choose bliss.
Leave a comment in the comments of this post about what you are learning, or if you blog, come back and leave a Mister Linky to your post about this topic. (OR if Mister Linky is not working -- and it seems he is having some sort of problem lately -- FEEL FREE to leave a link to your post in the comments.)
(Photo Credit: Christine Reed, Our Crab Apple, 2009)
9 comments:
For me I use to stress over the smallest of things. I believe it was because I was not yet walking in complete faith and at the time had no idea what bliss should feel like. I had a very bad pattern of saying I give it to God, then stress until my hair fell out.
Thankfully, today I can say that and truly mean it. Today I know what bliss is and what it truly feels like.
I never get over the amazement of how when you need something it is there. My boundaries are so fuzzy they have become unrecognizable. Today, I am going to start cleaning them up a bit. Thank you Christine.
This post is so perfect for me. My pattern is being so excited to see new opportunities, new friends, appear in my life, that I forget I'm in the midst of a great opportunity RIGHT NOW. It comes down to greed, and maybe a sense of what happens if I say no? Will this chance never again appear? and then I say yes.
I am stepping back, and acknowledging that I am right where I need to be. And that I need to pursue the bliss in front of me before starting new projects. The way you worded it, using 'exertion' and 'ease' really struck me. But, yesterday, I felt like you must be feeling, and I did 2 healthy things: Said no, and scheduled a Reiki session.
I found this affirmation that so applies to me:
I am enough. I do enough. I have enough.
Sometimes, there really is a need for a constant reminder. I will say though, that the abundance I'm seeing is exciting. The workshops, the friends, even the herbs that are appearing, perfect for me, and available. And for today, just knowing that resources are there is enough.
Enjoy your weekend Christine, and be well!
Namaste
Jessica
Hi BlissChick,
i have followed you for awhile and love your site..also i connect with your journey.
I have stepped away from a busy schedule and into spaciousness. Space for yoga, meditation, art,reading buddhist teachings. NOW my choices are highlighted big time. If i step away from the things that are compassionate to myself and into running mode, it's because i've chosen to do this.then i feel self contempt..then i want to run from that.. arrrggh! so it's back to compassion. I find the very first thing i do in the morning can set the tone for the day. If i check my email first thing, i'm sunk. If i meditate and write, i then move on to yoga and goodness and creativity throughout the day.
All this to say.. i'm my own worst enemy and my biggest ally. choosing presence is key for me too. thanks.
It's so important to protect your bliss. This is easy to forget amidst the daily stress of life, but SO important. Great post!!
Phew, that was good to do!!
Oh, my
How I needed to hear this today. Working too hard, exhaling too much, getting way too caught up with other people, ignoring (avoiding) me.....
I will post about this and link back in a few days!
A willingness to write out our patterns helps us see them clearly over time. Birth traumas are inherent in forming our day to day lives, likewise other childhood traumas. They require persistence and regular acknowledgment of their existence and nurturing. Your willingness to share your life is a GREAT gift.
Thank you
For me, I think stepping away from my bliss is some kind of strange rebellious time travel back to teenage years: "I know this is good for me, so I'm bloody well not going to do it".
It's completely illogical, and I think there's a fear of success in there somewhere as well, of not having any more excuses.
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